Bunnies!
by rexroy101
Summary: Who would have thought Itachi could be afraid of anything...oneshot sorta ooc


So this was written before Itachi's past was revealed and everyone realized that he wasn't a jerk and just a guy who would do anything for his brother, so for those of you who like Itachi(me being one of them) please forgive his characterization.

Don't own Naruto, never will…

Itachi knew he was dreaming. It was the same dream he had this entire week. Actually, it was more like a memory. A memory of the time Kisame and he had tried to capture Naruto. They had an ideal plan too. Itachi would use his Mangekyo on Naruto when the boy would, undoubtedly, charge him. With Naruto under his genjustu, Kisame would take out, or distract all of Naruto's comrades until Naruto passed out due to Itachi's attack. The plan was, quite frankly, easy. But Itachi made a miscalculation…

_They had stood in the field, facing each other. It was easy to track the Kyubbi's team down after the lead the Akatsuki pair obtained from the last village. What was even better was the fact that Naruto had only one person with him, his teammate Sakura Haruna. _

_She looked fairly smart and she looked determined to fight, but the strength that determination was set off by her pink hair. How on earth was someone supposed to take this girl seriously when she had pink hair? The locks only helped accentuate the fact that she had a very pretty face and that she used her headband to hold her hair in place._

_Itachi couldn't help but laugh (on the inside, of course, a laughing Uchiha was a crazy Uchiha) at how simple this was going to be. All he needed to do now was to agitate Naruto enough to charge him so that he could catch him with his genjutsu. Easy enough. Just mention how his stupid brother, Sasuke was an idiot, or perhaps say something about the blond never becoming Hokage. Then, wham bam… they would have Naruto as their captive, and Kisame would take care of the other one._

"_Huh? Crap! It's the Akatsuki!" Naruto yelled, when he noticed Itachi and Kisame's presence. He lunged to his feet, blue eyes flashing. "Sakura, stay behind me!" Sakura also jumped to her feet and into a fighting stance. Kisame laughed at the surprised expressions on their faces. _

'_So the girl had to be protected,' Itachi sneered. 'This will be too easy.'_

"_What the hell do you want?" the blonde yelled across the field._

_Itachi almost rolled his eyes. What, could Naruto really not remember the fact that he was the container of the nine-tailed beast? Or maybe he thought they were joking when they spoke last time._

"_We shall capture you and take you back with us," Kisame repeated, for Naruto's sake. _

_Sakura's eyes narrowed at those words and she pulled out a kunai from her pouch. Itachi watched thinking, 'That's not going to do you much good against Kisame's Samehada. ' _

_As he saw Kisame reach up and grab he large sword on his back, he too readied for battle. Just incase Naruto actually got through his genjustu (which he wouldn't) Itachi undid the three buttons on the front of his cloak. He then let his arm hang through the opening lazily._

_Now was the time for the baiting. "How is Sasuke?" the normally silent Uchiha began. "Did you finally catch him, or has he still betrayed you for power?"_

_Naruto's eyes widened before narrowing, the shock leaving rage behind. "You're the one who made him seek power! You are the one who destroyed his family!" With each word Naruto grew angrier, and chakra began to swirl at his feet. _

_Kisame couldn't help but smirk. Only a little bit more before the kid did the inevitable. Now it was his turn. "Do you think you'll make it to Hokage when you let a friend perish?" He asked trying to keep the excitement of a fight out of his voice. Even if it was a small girl, at least it would be fun to cut her to pieces. _

_Naruto growled and rushed them. Kisame and Itachi let out identical sighs as Itachi closed his eyes and started the Mangekyo. He opened his eyes ready to see the startling blue of Naruto's, but was surprised by the vibrant green of the boy's teammate. She had thrown herself forward to stop the rushing blond, and got caught in the crossfire._

'_Shame,' Itachi thought as she fell into the genjutsu. 'Now my eyes will hurt for hours. Hopefully Kisame will be able to deal with the kid.'_

_He felt himself pull on her mind, dragging it into his conscious when there was a pause and a soft jiggle, like someone was playing with the rope he was using on the girl's concious. Suddenly, she wasn't the one being pulled. He was. Itachi was yanked into the subconscious of Sakura Haruno._

_He opened his eyes. He was lying on his back in the middle of a field. He sat up slowly, unsure of his surroundings. The sky was blood red, like he was used to in a Tsukuyomi, but as he looked around, he noticed that the rest of the world wasn't as deserted as he was used to. He was in a field, a field with purple brush everywhere. _

_He turned slowly and froze. There in front of him was a table, a table that seemed to be set for a tea party Itachi slowly stood, unfolding to his full height. From this higher stance he could see the person sitting in the chair on the far side. The girl was of the exact likeness of Sakura Haruno, but with horrible coloring that turned her hair black, her eyes red, and her skin a deathly pale._

_She seemed to just notice him. _

"_Why…if it isn't Itachi Uchiha," she murmured, looking slightly surprised. "I didn't expect anyone to come here. But I guess that's what you get when you try to use my mind…" The girl tipped her head and grinned. Itachi glanced around. What was with this place? "Here join me," the strange Sakura continued, motioning towards a chair that appeared across from her. _

"_What is going on?" Itachi intoned._

"_How about you join me?" Sakura repeated._

_Itachi took two steps back. However, the moment he moved to retreat, two over large rabbits grabbed his arms. They were huge, standing on two legs with muscles rippling out under their hides. Their ears were flopping back over their heads like hair. _

_They lifted him off the ground and marched him over to the empty seat. Itachi tried to move his arms, or legs, or something but his body wasn't responding to him. They easily placed him in the seat and backed away. _

_The entire thing was watched by a bemused Sakura, her lips pulling back to show shiny white teeth that seemed neon in the odd lighting. "Well that wasn't very nice," she began, looking at the motionless Uchiha. "I just invited you to tea and you just try to leave. But then you aren't very nice are you, Itachi?" Her voice was like poisoned sugar._

_Itachi kept his face blank. "Who are you?" _

_The girl looked surprised. "I'm Sakura! Well, at least her conscious. She calls me Inner Sakura." _

_Itachi kept his face blank thinking this over. "So what's going to happen?" He asked, slightly curious as to what the future would hold._

"_Well, for the next 72 hours we are going to have a tea party!" Inner Sakura smiled encouragingly at the elder Uchiha._

_He blinked. "A tea party…"_

_Sakura tilted her head to the other side. "A very fun… tea party. But you know, your not really dressed for the occasion."_

…

Itachi jolted awake his heart beat racing and his breathing coming out as sharp pants. Sweat rolled down his neck wetting his undershirt. He could still hear that soft giggle, that soft noise that was the background music to his misery. And when that giggling crescendoed into that shrill laughter that grated on his ears, he always remembered that-

"Itachi…"

Itachi's breath caught before he forced his breathing into a normal pace. He closed his eyes to recollect himself one more time, before he turned to look at Kisame.

The blue man was slumped against the tree directly across from Itachi, the fire splitting the area between them. The light shined on his eyes brightening the whites and darkening the surrounding features. The bright white reminded Itachi of his horror, that white-

"Itachi."

Itachi refocused on the giant. Samehada was leaning next to his huge frame, brushing against the black and red Akatsuki cloak. Kisame's arms rested on top of his knees, which were bent up almost to his chest.

"What is it, Kisame?" Itachi rasped. He meant to speak as perfectly as he always did, but just awakening from a nightmare, his voice came out like a hollow whisper. Itachi attempted to clear his throat silently.

Kisame analyzed his partner for a few seconds before saying, "Your turn isn't for a few more hours."

Itachi blinked at the mention of sentry duty. It was unexpected to have Kisame not comment on his sleeping habits. But if Kisame wanted to help Itachi keep face, Itachi would not be complaining anytime soon.

"Of course." Itachi purred as he rolled over to face away from his intimidating teammate.

Kisame looked on silently. It was beyond strange for him to see his faultless partner ruffled. Kisame thought back to the showdown a week ago. It would have been seamless if it weren't for that girl. The pink hair, the green eyes.

_The moment the pinkette jumped in front of Naruto, Kisame realized that the pair would have a problem. Forcing Itachi to use his eyes twice in a row would completely tire the Uchiha out, though the proud man would never admit it. But trying to take on an enraged Kyuubi without the bloodline limit would be suicidal. _

_Kisame readied for one hell of a fight as the genjutsu broke. The pink haired girl fell to her knees, which was usual for victims. Kisame could hear his partner panting behind him. 'Does the Mangekyo usually take that much out of him?' Kisame wondered as Naruto jumped forward to help his teammate._

"_What the hell was that!?" Naruto yelled at the two. "What did you do to her?"_

_Kisame rolled his shoulder gripping his sword more tightly, gritting his teeth in preparation for the amazing chakra that the boy could unleash._

"_Ugh… what happened?" _

_Kisame almost gaped as the pink girl shook her head and stood up, with the help of the container. No one stood up after Itachi messed with them! NO one!_

"_Sakura are you alright? After you jumped in front of me you suddenly collapsed!"Kisame tried to keep his jaw from dropping as the girl seemed to bounce right back to how she acted before, though she did seem a little dazed._

_Sakura shook her head. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just…" she trailed off._

"_Kisame…" a soft pant came from behind._

_The sound shook Kisame's world. He had never heard Itachi use such a soft voice to call him. It sounded so… weak. Helpless. Completely opposite of the Uchiha prodigy._

_Kisame glanced over his shoulder as calmly as he could manage. The black haired boy had fallen to his knees and was raking his hand through his hair, looking like he was deciding whether to pass out or throw up. _

"_We must retreat."_

_Kisame moved mechanically, grabbing the younger one as he bolted out of the clearing, leaving behind a confused container and a dazed girl. _

When they had retreated far enough from their target, Kisame had questioned Itachi, but to no conclusion. Itachi simply stated that in the state they were in they would have no chance of kidnapping the Kyuubi. Kisame decided to leave the conversation at that. The way Itachi looked help support his claim, and plus, they had already left; there was no going back.

But then the nightmares had started. The first night had freaked Kisame out. He was keeping watch when his partner suddenly jumped up, panting like he had been under water. Kisame had lunged to his feet and had once again questioned the Uchiha, but even when he looked like he had gone through hell, the Uchiha lifted his head like some prince and replied that "there was no problem".

The dreams continued to plague Itachi, and consequently Kisame.

Kisame watched over his partner and hoped like hell that it would be a silent night. If Itachi's sudden jumpiness weren't bad enough, sometimes he would sleep talk. That was the scariest part. How could someone scare an S-class ninja to have nightmares about bunnies, tea parties and frilly dresses, anyways?

Itachi closed his eyes against the smoke tinged darkness of the woods, and hoped that, at least this time, he wouldn't have to wear the blue lace one.

A/N: So my first version of this story was actually terrifying and gruesome, definitely not meant for humor. So I decided to change it completely, I hope this is a little better.


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